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I lie, marked and scarred forever
through the fatigue of life
my hands of golden-orange, an aged crimson
these bloodied hands, touched your forehead
in my despair
leaving the utile sign present, right above your eyes
a rising incarnadine pearl, rising and running over
overflowing with reconjured blood
burning inside my being, and I am whole again

through a familiar mantranized hymn
the union is made true once more
revisiting all of you that I see:
eyes, dead and dry as mine
yet they possess windows to the only thing that ever lived
and overlapping those deep blue nooks
where you lie in wait
is a waterfall of stained white
flowing beauty to the waiting rocks, singing a rythmic static
not heard, rather seen in your glowing hair
running down your back and caressing your shoulders
your skin: softer even than your enchanting voice
beyond fair, a world lives beyond the flesh
blue and red branches stretch to unite a multiverse
pulsating systematic'lly

my gossessent avatum
i'll always burn for more sweet wordsi'll see you around, my love
we are not of our own, but of each other........
©2004-2009 ~rosen
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Submitted: April 25, 2004
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Comments: 19
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Author's Comments

couldn't really think of another name for this one.....
this is my first deviant submission so hi guys
i'm a bit unsure about how ppl will react to this one so bare with me and if anyone has any questions feel free to ask, but i don't think this will be too much trouble to figure out for you.


hope you enjoy
~Rosenkrauft
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Comments


Thats great! I love it, way to go. Ha, all those people are wrong. You're not stupid, gosh theres so many big words I think my head may explode :P
oh hey. thanks cat. tell everyone about this poem, im a bit worried that no one will see it. i'm glad you like it. lol, i told you i wasn't stupid, i like big words ( by the way, i made up a word or two, don't worry the words stem from real suffixes and prefixes so it can still be called an actual word).
<font color="#E0BF07">Hey nice man.
GOnna submit my stuff:P.
Got tons of picuters.
lol
around 7 or 8 That I made completely.
Line 6: I believe the word you were looking for was "futile" there.

You need a space in the second from last line.

I enjoyed this poem immensely, and it's nice to see a strong bit of free verse when I've heard that dA tends to lean more towards stupid rhyming love poems. You have some very good vocabulary there, though I have to ask; what's a gossessment avatum?

One thing you may want to consider is your usage of punctuation. You do some odd things with colons (sounds bad?) that perhaps could be more gracefully handled with spacing or, perhaps, projective verse. Look up the works of Charles Olsen, I believe reading him could do nothing negative for your already promising style.
thanks alot, haha i really went and abused my poetic license in this poem. i know that my writing is almost too free but its intentional. soem of the are more meant to throw a vision your way then be an actual word (ex: goddessent avatum) though they stem from real words. i'll be sure to check on that auther too.
Oh, you made that up? That's wonderful. I was sure it meant something. The mark of a well-done made up phrase is how convincing it is, hm? Gossessent Avatum... There's a story there.
yep, its goddessent btw. i'm pretty sure goddessent should actually be a word. reading shakespeare has taught me that not only dictionary words can be useful. there is an infinite number of suffixes and preffixes that can be utilized together.
Shakespeare worked during the Elizabethan era when grammar was more of a guideline then a rule, the lucky git.
yeah. plus english had alot more outside influence then it does now.

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